Tuesday, October 23, 2012

Join me on Stalkcation! Meet Charlie Hunnam.

I would like to take this opportunity to announce that as of last week, I have signed with an agent at a very prominent literary agency. That's right! I'm officially a big deal. LOL!

I know that none of this would be happening without you - the readers. You discovered me. You told your friends about me. You hosted me on your blogs, invited me into your Facebook groups, you pimped me on Twitter.

You changed my life.

Thank you!

So here's some MORE awesome news: I know we've all been arguing about whom would play Caleb if Captive in the Dark and Seduced in the Dark were ever optioned for a film. Honestly, I thought all the talk was amazing, but was only conjecture. A movie? Not likely. BUT...these days - I'm dreaming super big!

I never thought I'd sell more than a handful of books - I've sold over 40,000.
I never thought I'd get mainstream attention - I had my pick of agents.
I never thought I'd be looking at a world full of possibilities - I AM.

SO...I'm thinking about that movie now and I'm thinking, what can't I do with all of  you in my corner?


Back to the point. The debate for whom play Caleb has been between:



Personally, I am in love with Charlie! In fact, I will be attending the Lone Star Rally in Galveston, Texas, November 1-4.

I even snagged VIP PASSES to meet him! Ready for the awesome? I want YOU to come with me!!! Yes, imagine it - you, me, Charlie...assorted body oils (just think about it - no pressure).

Here's the deal - I paid for these tickets. So if you enter, PLEASE be prepared to win and get your ass to Texas on time. I'd hate to waste these tickets.

I can only choose ONE winner to receive TWO tickets. You must be present with me at 1:30pm on Friday, November 2nd in order to be allowed inside. Our entire party must come in at once. Also, since I am hoping to shamelessly plug my books to Charlie in the hope he will contact my agent and light a fire under my getting an epic movie deal - you might have to wear a Dark Duet T-shirt (which I will of course provide).

I will choose the winner OCTOBER 26TH.

GOOD LUCK TO ALL OF YOU! I wish I could take you all.
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Saturday, October 13, 2012

CJ Roberts on Bullying (aka Being a Dick-face)


Hello, my sexy fans. As you know, October is anti-bullying month. It may surprise you to learn that I have insight into the topic because I was, am, and probably always be, bullied in one way or another. To be honest, I think the term ‘bullying’ leaves a lot to be desired. When I see it or hear it, I imagine a bigger person physically shoving or taunting a smaller person; I think it goes much deeper than that. I prefer the term ‘being a dick-face’ because it is the most common form of bullying whether you’re a child or an adult. You’ll probably get a lot of great advice from the other authors participating. A lot of it will probably be better than mine, but for those of you who share my kind of spirit, I wanted to share my experiences, insights, and problem solving solutions with you.

Grade School
I know that today, I am a sexy vixen (um...see above!) with two great selling books, an entourage of biker friends, and a comedic  style that almost made two girls laugh themselves to death (literally, we almost died laughing). But once upon a time – I was…a nerd. GASP! To be honest, I’m still a nerd. But when you've suddenly become popular and people want to eat the food that falls out of your mouth, the fact you’re into things like reading books and watching Star Wars for the millionth time, doesn't seem to matter.

I was a tomboy, never liked combing my thick, bushy hair, and I wore purple pants with a zebra print shirt. I was about as uncool as you could possibly get! The girls used to make fun of me and put gum in my hair (peanut butter is your friend). They called me ‘Krusty’ (it’s an amateurish jibe at my name). They used to throw rocks at me when I walked to/from school. The boys liked to hang out with me sometimes, until the pretty girls would come around and they would all disappear. My best friend was the only special-needs girl in our class (this is before dyslexia was commonly known about). Her name was Tammy and I loved her. Every Thursday I was the only person she invited to the ‘ice cream party’ held by the special-needs teachers in the red bungalow. She never invited any of the other girls who promised to be her friend and not put gum in her hair anymore if she took them. LOYALTY! It is, was, and remains my top criteria for choosing friends.

My advice: Make friends with the misfits. There are more of us than there are of the ‘popular kids’. Also, we’re going to end up doing great things while those other kids are going to leave their best days behind them after high school (because they’re dick-faces!).

Junior High
More of the same, but with boobs.

My advice: Take self-defense classes. I only had to punch one dick-face in the mouth and word spread. They talked about me. I was still unpopular. But the important part is, they said it behind my back and stayed well-clear of my right hook.

High School
I joined the Thespian Society, LOL. This goes back to my ‘make friends with misfits’ advice. My entire high school career was like one long episode of Glee. I still wasn't overly popular, but the fact I had accepted my weirdness and found a place to share it meant the world to me.

My advice: If you find yourself in a theatre class v. football team face off…just run. Again, most of them end up reliving high school as their ‘glory days’, while you go on to being on Broadway and making a PA get you things like bottled water from the mountains of Peru and sorting your M&M’s by color (I like the red ones).

I haven’t changed much. However, what has made all the difference in my life is that I have a clear sense of who I am and what is important to me. I have very few friends, because my bar is set high. I love deeply and I expect that kind of devotion in return (and I get it). I embrace the fact I have a twisted sense of humor. Sometimes I wear a mustache in public because I think making people simultaneously disgusted/nervous to be around me is AMUSING!

When I first started sharing my writing with people there were some that called me sick. They said the fact I wrote erotica was ‘pedestrian’ and ‘the last refuge of a person who has no talent’. It hurt my feelings, but the fact I had been around dick-faces my entire life PREPARED ME for the criticism I face as an adult from fully grown dick-faces who have graduated high school but also haven’t changed much.

All said and done – I have sold over 40,000 copies of my ‘pedestrian’ books. Meanwhile, they’re still toiling away on that non-fiction manuscript that will never see the inside of a Barnes & Noble.

My advice: EAT IT! DICK-FACE.