THIS POST WILL APPEAR WITH MANY OTHERS ON 'JUST MY OPINION' 10/15/2012
Introduction
Hello, my sexy fans. As you know, October is anti-bullying
month. It may surprise you to learn that I have insight into the topic because
I was, am, and probably always be, bullied in one way or another. To be honest,
I think the term ‘bullying’ leaves a lot to be desired. When I see it or hear
it, I imagine a bigger person physically shoving or taunting a smaller person;
I think it goes much deeper than that. I prefer the term ‘being a dick-face’
because it is the most common form of bullying whether you’re a child or an adult.
You’ll probably get a lot of great advice from the other authors participating.
A lot of it will probably be better than mine, but for those of you who share
my kind of spirit, I wanted to share my experiences, insights, and problem solving
solutions with you.
Grade School
I know that today, I am a sexy vixen (um...see above!) with two great selling
books, an entourage of biker friends, and a comedic style that almost made two girls laugh themselves
to death (literally, we almost died laughing). But once upon a time – I was…a
nerd. GASP! To be honest, I’m still a nerd. But when you've suddenly become
popular and people want to eat the food that falls out of your mouth, the fact
you’re into things like reading books and watching Star Wars for the millionth time, doesn't seem to matter.
I was a tomboy, never liked combing my thick, bushy hair,
and I wore purple pants with a zebra print shirt. I was about as uncool as you
could possibly get! The girls used to make fun of me and put gum in my hair
(peanut butter is your friend). They called me ‘Krusty’ (it’s an amateurish jibe
at my name). They used to throw rocks at me when I walked to/from school. The
boys liked to hang out with me sometimes, until the pretty girls would come
around and they would all disappear. My best friend was the only special-needs
girl in our class (this is before dyslexia was commonly known about). Her name
was Tammy and I loved her. Every Thursday I was the only person she invited to
the ‘ice cream party’ held by the special-needs teachers in the red bungalow.
She never invited any of the other girls who promised to be her friend and not
put gum in her hair anymore if she took them. LOYALTY! It is, was, and remains
my top criteria for choosing friends.
My advice: Make
friends with the misfits. There are more of us than there are of the ‘popular
kids’. Also, we’re going to end up doing great things while those other kids
are going to leave their best days behind them after high school (because they’re
dick-faces!).
Junior High
More of the same, but with boobs.
My advice: Take
self-defense classes. I only had to punch one dick-face in the mouth and word
spread. They talked about me. I was still unpopular. But the important part is,
they said it behind my back and stayed well-clear of my right hook.
High School
I joined the Thespian Society, LOL. This goes back to my ‘make
friends with misfits’ advice. My entire high school career was like one long
episode of Glee. I still wasn't overly popular, but the fact I had accepted my weirdness and found a place to
share it meant the world to me.
My advice: If you
find yourself in a theatre class v. football team face off…just run. Again,
most of them end up reliving high school as their ‘glory days’, while you go on
to being on Broadway and making a PA get you things like bottled water from the
mountains of Peru and sorting your M&M’s by color (I like the red ones).
Adulthood
I haven’t changed much. However, what has made all the
difference in my life is that I have a clear sense of who I am and what is
important to me. I have very few friends, because my bar is set high. I love
deeply and I expect that kind of devotion in return (and I get it). I embrace
the fact I have a twisted sense of humor. Sometimes I wear a mustache in
public because I think making people simultaneously disgusted/nervous to be
around me is AMUSING!
When I first started sharing my writing with people there
were some that called me sick. They said the fact I wrote erotica was ‘pedestrian’
and ‘the last refuge of a person who has no talent’. It hurt my feelings, but
the fact I had been around dick-faces my entire life PREPARED ME for the
criticism I face as an adult from fully grown dick-faces who have graduated
high school but also haven’t changed much.
All said and done – I have sold over 40,000 copies of my ‘pedestrian’
books. Meanwhile, they’re still toiling away on that non-fiction manuscript
that will never see the inside of a Barnes & Noble.
My advice: EAT
IT! DICK-FACE.
