I wasn’t sure what to expect
when I put the key-card into the door. I knew what the room would look like. I
knew Livvie would think it was beautiful. I knew there was an enormous bed
waiting to be soiled. What I didn’t know, was if I’d get the chance to use it
the way I wished.
“Wow, Caleb.” Livvie stepped
inside and put her purse on the coffee table. “You certainly know how to make
an impression. First the car, now the room.”
I shrugged from the foyer. “The
car’s rented. Technically, so is the room. I have good taste though, no one can
deny me that.”
“No, I guess they can’t.” She
wandered to the curtains and pulled them back. It seemed to be a clear
indication she didn’t trust me.
I took the insult as best I
could. How insulted did I really have a right to be? I knew she believed the
hotel to be a secure place to meet. All she’d have to do was scream and someone
would probably hear us. Of course, the key word there was probably. I was tempted to remind her that if I were so inclined,
she wouldn’t even get to scream. However, I figured it wasn’t in my best
interest to point such things out to her.
I walked into the living area
and made myself comfortable on the sofa. I wanted to get the preliminary’s out
of the way as soon as possible and get back to more pleasurable pursuits. In
the meantime, I watched Livvie. Always inquisitive, my Livvie, a curious little
kitten. I eyed her from my seat as she ran her long fingers along the
furniture, the drapes, and the Tiffany lamp on the desk.
“Livvie.” She focused on me.
Her nerves were obvious. “Come sit with me.”
She shook her head slightly.
“I’m not sure that’s such a good idea.”
I rested my head on my fist. I
stared. On this point there would be no discussion. I’d made my request clear
and I expected her to acquiesce. I wasn’t going to argue moot points. I took
great pleasure in exerting my dominance. It was a part of me and I wouldn’t
apologize for it. Besides, it was fun watching her squirm.
Taking my bait, Livvie filled
the silence (it’s incredible how much this continues to work). “Caleb…come on.
You know the second I go over there you’re just going to pounce on me.” She was
biting her lip again, her fingers nervously tugging on it. “Caleb? Are you even
going to say anything? Oh, okay, so you’re just going to sit over there,
looking all ‘you know you want me’? I’m not scared of you, Caleb.” She crossed
her arms over her chest and tried her best to look intimidating. “I have pepper
spray in my purse!”
I couldn’t help it. I burst
into laughter.
“Oh my God, you’re such a
jerk,” she said. She walked toward me and unceremoniously plopped onto the
sofa. “Fine! I’m here.”
I was still holding my stomach
when my laughter finally subsided and I could make eye-contact without starting
up again. “I’m sorry, Livvie, I really am. You kill me. Pepper spray? I’ve
tracked you all over the world and that’s what’s going to stop me—pepper
spray.”
Livvie’s wide grin was my
reward for all the slaps and insults she’d thrown my way during the course of
the evening. “Well, maybe it wouldn’t stop you. It would still be fun to watch
you roll around on the ground crying for a while.” She shrugged. “It might
still be fun.”
We laughed for little while,
diffusing all the tension. I felt completely at ease by the time we were done
laughing and I knew Livvie did too. Her shoulders had dropped. Her fingers had
stopped fidgeting.
“I missed you, Caleb.”
“I missed you, Livvie.”
Livvie took off her heels and
set them beside the sofa. As she pressed her toes into the carpet and grabbed
at the thick fibers, she smiled at me. She sat up straight, bending her knees
so she could sit on her feet. It was a relaxed and casual pose. It was a good
sign for things to come. “All over the world, eh? Tell me about that.”
I stared at her for a second,
but I relented. It was best to get it out of the way. I took off my shoes and
adopted a more comfortable pose as well. There is nothing more unattractive
than having to stop getting naked to remove ones shoes. I like to think ahead.
“Yes. I looked for you
everywhere and anywhere I could think of. If you really wanted me to find you,
you could have left me a note in Mexico. It was the first place I looked.” I
reached out with my right hand and stroked Livvie’s cheek. I loved that she let
me.
“I didn’t think it was a good
idea. The FBI knew you’d left me the money. I was afraid if I left you a note
they’d know you were alive. I couldn’t risk it.” She smiled, though it didn’t
quite reach her eyes.
I don’t know what I felt upon
hearing her words. I was touched. I was angry. I was sad. “I’m sorry you had to
go through that. They made you change your name.” I hadn’t counted on Livvie’s
love. I’d been too sick about Rafiq to believe she’d ever try to protect me.
There are no words for what I was feeling. Once again, I was hollow and full to
bursting.
“I like my new one.” She
reached for my hand and held it on her knee. “I’d do it again, Caleb—in a
heartbeat. I don’t know how you feel about it, but I want you to know I’m
happy. I have a great life.”
“I guess that counts for
something. If I’d let you come with me…I don’t know. I doubt you’d be the same
person. I doubt you’d be as happy as you seem to be.” My own words gave me
pause. I’d been right to leave her behind. Had I been right to return?
She gave me a sidelong look.
Her smirk hinted at amusement, but her eyes promised retribution. “You’re not
off the hook, Caleb. If you hadn’t left me at the border with a gun, I wouldn’t
have had to make a scene to get back into the country. They were barely even
looking for me. So don’t give me that ‘all’s well that ends well’ bullshit.”
She got a chuckle out of me.
“Point taken. So how was your time with the FBI?” I was genuinely interested in
what she had to say. I’d had some close calls in the past year. At the time I
assumed it was the FIA in Pakistan trying to find me. I was sure they didn’t
appreciate Rafiq had gone missing, nor the fact he had been connected to the Zahra’ Bay. I played with my life every
time I went into the country. I wondered if the FBI had been looking for me
too.
Livvie looked sad for a
fleeting moment before she plastered a smile on her face. “I’ll get to that.
There’s a lot you should know. First, I want to know how you found me. I want
to know what you’ve been up to. I don’t want to have to change my name again.”
“What happened to doing it
again in a heartbeat?” I provoked.
“Don’t be an idiot,” she said
and nudged me with her knee.
I let out a defeated sigh.
“After Mexico, I decided to try your old neighborhood.” Livvie looked aghast. I
was quick to reassure her no one had been hurt. “I didn’t talk to anyone. I
couldn’t take the chance. I waited outside your former apartment building, but
I realized pretty quickly your family didn’t live there anymore.” I inched a
bit closer to Livvie on the sofa. I didn’t move so much she’d notice, at least
not right away. “I must have scouted the bus stop for weeks, just hoping.
Which, in retrospect, was pretty dumb. Why would you go back there?
“After your old neighborhood
proved fruitless, I remember you talked about your friend Nicole. And before
you get all huffy – I didn’t talk to her either. I just stole her laptop.”
“Caleb!” Livvie admonished.
I shrugged unapologetically.
“Are you glad I found you or what? Your whereabouts weren’t just going to fall
out of thin air.” I practically dared her to tell me there had been another
way. Having quickly settled the fact there hadn’t been, I went on with my
story. “I found an email that could only have come from you.” I moved a tiny
bit closer. I don’t think she realized. “You sounded really sad. You mentioned
going to the Eiffel Tower by yourself. Someone stole your wallet. It was months
after the incident, but I still worried for you.
You said you weren’t over me.”
Livvie looked away from me. She
had tears in her eyes and she was working hard to make it seem as though she
didn’t. While I didn’t necessarily relish her pain at the memory, it boded well
for me. It made me believe there was a chance for us.
She cleared her throat and
wiped at her eyes with the back of her finger. “Ugg! I thought I was past this
part. I promise, I’m not quite as emotional as I used to be.” She smiled. “I
guess you just bring it out of me. I like your hair. How long is it?”
“It’s camouflage. I keep it
back because it annoys me when it touches my shoulders.” I didn’t want to talk
about my hair. I reached up and collected a tear racing down her cheek. I drank
it. I knew it didn’t make sense to her. If anything, she seemed more
embarrassed. However, it was my way of taking her pain away. It was a promise.
I didn’t go around drinking random people’s tears. I’m not that creepy.
Livvie took a deep breath and
exhaled slowly. Some of the tension from earlier was slinking its way back into
our intimate moment. “Some things never change I guess,” she whispered.
I moved closer, until our knees
brushed. My arm rested on the back of the sofa and I was able to touch her hair
with my fingers. Warmth spread through me as I watched her eyelids slide shut.
“Everything is in the process of becoming something else. It’s the law of
change.” I briefly kissed Livvie’s eyelids before she could open them. “I’m in
the process of becoming something else, Livvie. I hope it’s something good,
something far removed from the monster you knew.”
“Wow!” Livvie said. Her tears
had gotten the better of her and she raced to put distance between us. She
wiped hurriedly at her cheeks. “Holy shit, Caleb. How can I keep from being a
mess when you say things like that? I don’t even know how to feel.”
I smiled and moved back. I had
her where I wanted her, but more than that, I had her where I needed her. In a place where she could
admit she could forgive me for the past. In a place where we were possible.
Over the next several hours, I
relayed the many airline tickets I had purchased to search for her. The places
I had almost caught up and missed her. I told her about Germany and the café.
She hadn’t been happy to hear about that one, but accepted I wasn’t quite ready
to approach her at the time.
She told me about her travels,
the people she’d met and how she’d thought about me a great deal. Of particular
interest to me was the fact she had been writing about us. She explained it
began in the hospital while she was being interrogated by the FBI. She
explained she’d wanted to preserve her memories, or more accurately, her
feelings, before the agents assigned to her case could alter them. Apparently,
the bastards had done quite a number on her. She promised to fill me in
completely at a later time (I was happy she’d already made plans for a
‘later’).
Her statements didn’t make
sense to me until much later when I finally got to read Livvie’s story for
myself. I’m glad I didn’t understand what she meant at first. I don’t know if I
could have handled it. I was too new to guilt, too new to opening myself up to
someone else’s suffering—especially hers.
She attempted to ask questions
about our last days in Mexico. I was honest and told her it was too much for me
to discuss so soon. I’d tell her at some point (obviously, you know I did). She
didn’t like it, but she used it as leverage to dodge questions about the FBI
and what she learned about me (I’m glad she didn’t tell me that night).
For the most part we tried not
to delve too deeply into subjects that were excruciating to either one of us.
It was more about discovering how we felt toward one another after so much time
had gone by. As our feelings became more obvious, we were able to discuss our
present instead of our past. I liked that much better. I liked hearing about
Livvie going to school. I listened to her talk about the endless possibilities
of her future and it made me feel somewhat better about…well, everything. I
would be lying if I told you I was over what happened with Rafiq. Far from it.
Still, it gave me a modicum of solace to know that if he had lived, Livvie’s
future would not be so bright.
Too quickly, the hours had
ticked by. The night had gone silent and in a few hours, pre-dawn would be
approaching. My thoughts began to turn toward more carnal diversions and
talking had begun to lose its appeal.
“It’s late,” she whispered. She
had her feet on the sofa, her knees pulled up to her chin. Her dark eyes begged
me to come closer. Her legs threatened to push me away.
I felt myself getting hard, my
dick throbbing in rhythm with my heartbeat. I was transported to Felipe’s
plantation in Madera. I remembered the first night I whipped her. She’d known
she was in trouble and she hid under the sink. She was curled up in much the
same way, eyes staring up at me, legs trembling ever so slightly. I remembered
the thrill of making her surrender. I couldn’t help what turned me on, but I
didn’t let my impulses get the better of me.
“I know. I still don’t want
this night to end,” I said. I wanted to make myself as clear as possible,
whatever she decided to do after that was fine.
“So…what then?” She raised her
hand to her mouth and tugged gently at her lip. Her eyes had a mischievous
glint.
“Well, the way I see it, you
have three options. You can make me very sad by asking me to drive you home.
You can take pity on me and spend the night. Or you can admit you want me to
make love to you until you beg for mercy.” I leaned back and put my arms around
the sofa. I let her see how hard I was for her, how much I wanted to be inside
her.
She inhaled sharply. Her cheeks
reddened. A quick glance downward revealed her toes, curled tightly. “You…still
have a way with words.” Her voice was
breathy, but confident.
“Just laying it out for you.” I
winked at her. I felt pretty confident about which of the three options she
would choose. However, she has a way of throwing in her own surprises.
“I still have the pepper
spray,” she teased.
“Kinky.” We laughed.
I knew she wanted me. It was
written all over her face. It was in the way she licked her lips in preparation
for being kissed, the way her eyes seemed to go dark. I had a moment of
hesitation. I wasn’t sure what role she wanted me to play. On the one hand, it
would have given me a lot of pleasure to tell her what to do. I liked being in
control. I liked knowing she’d obey me of her own free will. On the other, I
wasn’t sure how my dominance would be accepted? The last thing I wanted to do
was scare her away. I didn’t want to remind her that once upon a time she
hadn’t had a choice. “So, what’s it going to be, pet?”
She raised a brow. “Pet?” She
didn’t seem put-off by the moniker, but a gentle warning was in her tone. I’m not your pet.”
“Force of habit,” I whispered
unapologetically. Slow and easy it is.
“You have a lot of bad habits,
Caleb.”
“But not all my habits are bad.
Are they?” I let my hand rest on my dick. Her eyes followed my movements. She
swallowed.
“No. There’s a few I’m quite
fond of.” She met my eyes and held me captive.
“Do tell,” I whispered.
“Give me time, Caleb. I will.
But…tonight? I just need you to know I’m not the scared girl you remember.” She
brought her knees down and opened her legs. Her dress hid what was beneath, but
her message was clear as she placed her hand on her pussy.
My heart beat erratically,
spurred by her seduction. Beneath my own hand, my cock strained against my
zipper. “I remember you were brave.” I managed to say beyond the lust clogging
my throat.
“I remember you liked to watch
me touch myself.” She inched her dress up her thighs. Her short, blunt
fingernails left faint red trails along her smooth tan skin. “I remember I
liked watching you too.” She shifted down and rested her head on the arm of the
sofa.
I was beside myself. My mouth
was dry; too many open-mouthed breaths. My heart was pounding. And my dick was
rock fucking hard. “I’d like to do a hell of a lot more than watch.” I leaned
forward and was met with instant resistance. Livvie’s foot pushed against my
chest and urged me back against the sofa.
“We do it my way. Or not at
all.” She threatened playfully.
I knew a battle I couldn’t win
when I encountered it. I tilted my head toward Livvie in deference. “I can
accept that.” I resumed my previous posture. “I await your every whim.” I baited
her with my smile.
“Good.” She relaxed. Her
fingers trailed lightly over her pussy. “You show me yours…and I’ll show you
mine.”
I laughed softly. If it were
possible to love her any more, I wasn’t sure I could stand it. “Hmm,” I sighed
and unzipped my jeans. “As I recall, shyness was your obstacle, not mine.” I quickly undid my pants and opened them.
My lust intensified as my cock hit the air. I resisted the urge to touch it. I
took great satisfaction in hearing Livvie gasp. To her credit, she composed
herself quickly.
“Very nice, Caleb. I know we’re
both in the process of becoming something else, but it’s nice to know there are
a few things that will never change.” She lifted her knee closest to the couch,
causing her dress to ride up to her waist. She spread her legs and revealed her
naked pussy. She hadn’t been wearing any underwear!
I reached for my dick and
squeezed it. I wasn’t in any danger of embarrassing myself, but the impulse was
simply too much to ignore. I took a deep breath and let it out slowly. I
stroked myself once, twice, and stilled my hand. “You’re fucking beautiful.”
She blushed. “Thank you. So are
you.”
I wasn’t sure how I felt about
being called beautiful, but I took the compliment. I had much more interesting
things on my mind. “What now? I have to
be honest; I’m not sure I can sit here and watch you play with yourself. I
don’t have the self-control.”
“Would you force me?” She
whispered. Her fingers parted her pussy, revealing how pink and wet she was.
“Fuck! No. But I’d be really
childish about it.” I stuck out my bottom lip and she laughed.
“Oh my God,” she said through a
smile. “You’re making this really difficult. Don’t ruin my fantasy.”
I composed my face. “I’m sorry.
Go on. Far be it from me to deny you another fantasy. I was so fond of the last
one.” I watched her mouth and remembered the way her lips slid over my cock.
“Maybe we could relive that one too?”
“Maybe,” she teased. “If I come
over there, will you put your arms on the couch and keep them there?”
I swallowed. “I’ll try.” I
raised my arms to the back of the sofa and gripped it. I’m hard again just
remembering how sexily she crawled across the sofa toward me. Livvie is a
predator in her own right.
My eyes drifted shut at the
first touch of her hand against my chest. I knew she could feel how hard my
heart was beating. I might have been even more nervous than she was. Her dress
was soft as it caressed my aching cock. “Your dress is going to get ruined.
Take it off.” I whispered as enticingly as I was able.
“Shh,” she whispered against my
ear. The smell of her skin infiltrated my senses. I held tighter to the sofa.
“I want it just like this.” Her thighs straddled mine and her wet pussy made
contact with my dick.
I thrust upward. I couldn’t
fucking help it. “Goddamn it, Kitten! Just let me fuck you already.”
